Some men are just not that into porn. My partner isn’t and I don’t think he ever has been, whereas I do watch it from time to time. I don’t spend an awful lot of time seeking it out; it’s more of a backdrop to my fantasies while soloing. And even when I’m watching porn, I imagine it’s me and my boyfriend doing what’s happening on screen. Ultimately, we fill my fantasies together, even if the faces and bodies of the actors don’t match up.
My partner, on the other hand, isn’t that fussed. I would not suggest us watch porn together because I know it’s not something that would turn him on, not when we are physically in the room together. His approach is “Why watch other people having sex when we could do it?”
Regardless of my occasional porn watching, I do see his point. For many people, watching porn is tied tightly to masturbation – it’s a visual prompt, and as an added bonus it can inspire new ideas for real life sexual exploration.
Porn can be a touchy subject (oh, har-har) when one half of a couple partakes and the other does not. But it’s perfectly OK, either way. The whole point of having someone to explore physical pleasures with is that you discover what works for you and what doesn’t, and you understand that your other half probably won’t like everything you like and vice versa. Watching porn is not unhealthy for most people.
There is a time and a place for constructive discussion about the exploitation of porn actors and the over-sexualisation of women, and those venues are important. But before you dive in do take a moment to research, particularly for articles or videos from the porn actors’ point of view. Not all porn springs from something shady and unhealthy, and watching it is entirely down to personal taste. It’s best to simply respect that not everyone is into the same things.